Thorn Diving with Benedict

I love St. Benedict… one of my ancient brothers in Christ.


Once a year, l escape to a beautiful Benedictine Monastery in Oklahoma, to encounter the beauty of solitude, silence, and the presence of Jesus.


Like me… Benedict had a profound battle with sexual lust. 


I will never forget reading this passage from The Life and Miracles of St. Benedict.


“On a certain day being alone, the tempter was at hand …  St. Benedict was assaulted with such a terrible temptation of the flesh, as he never felt the like in all his life.


A certain woman there was which some time he had seen, the memory of which the wicked spirit put into his mind, and by the representation of her so mightily inflamed with concupiscence the soul of God’s servant, which so increased that, almost overcome with pleasure, he was of mind to have left the desert.


But, suddenly assisted with God’s grace, he came to himself; and seeing many thick briers and thorn bushes to grow hard by, off he cast his apparel, and threw himself into the midst of them, and there wallowed so long that, when he rose up, all his flesh was pitifully torn.


So, by the wounds of his body, he cured the wounds of his soul, in that he turned pleasure into pain, and by the outward burning of extreme pain, quenched that fire which, being nourished before with the fuel of carnal cogitations, inwardly burned in his soul: and by this means he overcame the sin, because he made a change of the fire. From which time forward, as he afterward reported to his disciples, he found all temptation of pleasure so subdued, that he never felt any such thing.”


Ummmm... Benedict took his clothes off and threw himself into thick briers and thorn bushes!


Selah! (pause and meditate)


I am challenged deeply by this man’s uncommon, unconventional, and unbelievable commitment to fidelity.


Do I hate my sin that much? 
Am I willing to do whatever it takes to conquer it?


This may come across as extreme to you — and yes — perhaps it is. 


But I will say this...

I lived in the world of sexual addiction and lust for twenty-three years.


*|FNAME|*, its destruction in my life was EXTREME -- and I will go to anyEXTREME necessary to distance myself from that monster ever having a place in my soul again. 


This may surprise you, but I throw myself into a thorn bush every week                  


In this way. 

I remind myself often -- of the pain I felt -- and the pain I caused because I gave lust a stronghold in life.


I can still feel the thorns of the betrayal that I saw on my wife’s countenance after my disclosure. I can still feel the barbs of brokenness I caused in the lives of my three sons. 


It is remembering the reality of what my sin did to others that helps keep me far, far away from ever returning to a wasteland of wanton living.


Consequences are important. 
The scripture speaks to them. 


You may recall that weighty Proverb on the human impulse towards sexual lust. It reveals a solemn ending to its self-serving pursuit. 


“All at once he followed her like an ox going to the slaughter, like a deer stepping into a noose till an arrow pierces his liver, like a bird darting into a snare, little knowing it will cost him his life.” Proverbs 7:22-23

Remember the thorns. 



Grace + Peace, 

Blaine